Pregnancy brain... it is a fetal condition.

Remembering back to the first weekend of September of 2005 when I was just under a month pregnant with Isabelle, I'd quit smoking, I hadn't had a stiff drink in weeks. That will forever go down in history as the day I offically flipped my lid. I had big plans to clean out the garage and Keith promised to help. I recall that Keith had a very ligitimate reason for not helping in the garage at exactly the time I wanted him to be present and the longer I was alone out there, the more I began to IRRATIONALLY toss perfectly good belongings onto the curb for the garbage man. (NOT MY BEST MOMENT) even as I threw functioning lamps, computer monitors, carpeting, and whever else I could get my hands on to the curb, I knew deep down inside that he was BUSY I just needed to wait 30 minutes or so. Did I mention it was Sunday? The garbage man would not be back till Wednesday?? So all of these perfectly good belongings were piled sky high. As soon as Keith came out to find out what all the racket was about, he GOT AN EAR FULL of words I will not type here for the sake of the children who might read this blog...Just call me John Kennedy... This was comparible to his allowing the Bay of Pigs invasion that led to the Cuban missile crisis. Becuase what happened next was a missile crisis FOR SURE!!! Poor Keith, just stood there in shock as he surveyed the damage I'd managed to create in less than 15 minutes of tazmanian type cleaning... his eyes glazed over, he started to sweat, I'm screaming and tossing verbal daggers at him, he said, "Lesley, calm down, what in the world is going on here?" I started my screaming schpeel all over again and began to toss more valuable items onto the pile. It was not pretty. Ultimately, I ended up hunched over the kitchen table sobbing and apologizing profusely, not quite sure what had just happened... Thus began the chronic "fetal" disease I so kindly refer to as pregnancy brain. When all common sense goes out the window and sheer irrational behavior takes over.

This weekend I began my whirlwind cleaning all over again, making room for K.J. (Keith Junior) thats what we will call him till we come up with a good name. I began to empty out the walk in closet in K.J.'s room and erroneously tossed Keiths $400 suit into the GoodWill donation bag. Its a good thing he was baby sitting me because he managed to save it before I drove away. What does he say when he finds it in the bag?? "Oh, God, its September 2005 all over again. - Don't leave here with ANYTHING until I can look through the bags. - GOT IT??" I've decided to humor him for the sake of our marriage.

Pregnancy brain is not the only condition I suffer from - my maternal instincts are so strong I feel the need to protect all living creatures. I actually brought my car to a screaching hault on a 4 lane road to make sure that a squirrel that darted across my lane made across all 3 others. Not even noticing that the upcoming intersection just 30 feet away had a VERY green light and I was nearly rear-ended. I had every intention of rushing that squirrel to the ER had he been hit. I sacrifice my own safety for a "rat with a fluffy tail" at least thats what Keith says.