I'm Smarter than a Fifth Grader!!!!

I PASSED THE FLORIDA TEACHER CERTIFICATION EXAM!

I have been stressing out about the results for 30 days!!! So paranoid that I would have to re-take the exams a few days before delivering Andrew in order to continue with my planned courses in January. Apparently I'm not nearly as math retarded as I claim to be. I do have to give major props to my husband for tutoring me in preparation!



The good news could not have come at a better time. I needed a boost after my terrible health scare. Yesterday as I was reading an email at work I noticed that the letters were becoming jumbled and that I'd lost my peripheral vision on the right side making it impossible to even see complete words. It was frightening to say the least. I left a panicked message on Keith's office voicemail in tears saying "I know this sounds crazy, I feel a little crazy saying it, but I cannot read!" I tried to explain the symptoms I was suffering and then called the OB in a panic explaining what I was experiencing, headache, blurred vision, loss of peripheral vision on the right and I literally could not read words, letters were missing and jumbled. It took a nurse practitioner at the OB's office 97 minutes to call me back, and she seemed less than concerned, telling me "maybe its a detached retina, you should just go straight to the ER." By this late in the game I had regained my vision and was only left with a pounding headache. I tried to explain this to her, but she wasn't hearing it, I felt as if she was just going through the motions, passing the buck and making me someone Else's problematic, over dramatic, pregnant lady patient.



I reiterated that, again, I was pretty convinced that this was a serious migraine, given the obvious photo phobia and pain... She seemed bored with my response and repeated, "listen, that's all I can do for you, either go to the ER or don't." At this point I was ready to drive over to that office detach HER retinas with my exhaust pipe. Is it sooooo hard to bring me into the office and check my BP and other vitals before you exile me to the ER?? This lady must be on the Bush bandwagon. I immediately thought of that BONEHEAD speech he gave July of last year in Cleveland wherein he proved once again that he's the biggest retard to ever lead our great country by stating, “The immediate goal is to make sure there are more people on private insurance plans. I mean, people have access to health care in America. After all, you just go to an emergency room.” ---- EXAAAAAAACTLY. Let me just go the the ER and sit with 47 other "sick" people with broken noses, flu-like symptoms, or exhausted first time (delirious) mothers cradling screaming babies that haven't pooped for 5 days, because none of them have insurance (but at least they have access to the ER and subsequently a $4,000 bill they'll never pay!!!) or better yet their Doctor doesn't feel like dealing with them and says, go straight to the ER... Yeah, that's right, send me to the ER for 4 hours while I possibly go blind with a "suspected" detached retina and end up with a $300 co-pay (since health insurance these days SUCKS!!!) only to find out that I'm suffering from a super duper bad migraine.



Needless to say, I went home, took a Tylenol and a nap, visited the massage therapist and called it a day. Definitely a lot cheaper and a lot less stressful than sitting in the ER all afternoon. I mean, if the retina is detached I'm screwed anyway so I might as well enjoy a nice massage while I go blind.



So all in all I lost the battle, but I won the war. I healed in time to watch Isabelle drive in circles for 2 hours in her hot pink Barbie Jeep, found out that I'm smarter than a fifth grader (I'm sure that the bar is set somewhere in that range for the teacher's exam) and I'm off to a fantastic start with a 3.9 GPA following the first three classes I completed and I have a goal of graduating with every Latin honor in existence. Oh, and I never went blind. Further proof that I am smarter than the nurse practitioner and I would even go as far as to say that I am absolutely positive that I am smarter than our president, but that's not really saying much.