I REALLY am just a little pregnant...and a little bigger.

Today, on the way up three flights of stairs (on the exterior of my office building) at around noon I was followed by another woman who states, "when are you due?" "October" I replied. "Oh maaaaaan! How will you make it through these hooooot summer months?" -as she makes this ugly, wide-eyed hippo yawning type face. I simply told her that it really wasn't that big of a deal. Its Florida. I've been here all my life and it is what it is. I mean really, if it WAS a big deal would I be climbing three flights of stairs in 90 degree heat in the middle of the day when I could just as easily have taken the elevator? Why does every woman I see moan and groan about the long summer months I am destined to endure? I don't really see what the stink is all about. You don't see women seeking out fat chicks in the plus size department of Target asking them how they are going to survive the summer heat with a few spare tires do you??? Being fat and pregnant is ultimately the same. None of us can see our toes and we have no waistline. The difference is I get kicked in the bladder on an hourly basis, I have heartburn by 4pm and I have to pee 30 times a day. Honestly, I'm just living my life as usual with a baby growing inside me. I continue to play outside with Isabelle every evening, I color with chalk on the driveway on the weekends, we go to the park, the zoo and just live. All you whiners out there need to just recognize that we are lucky to be carrying our babies summer, winter, spring, or fall. There are women (and trans-gender men who opted to keep their reproductive organs) out there who would die to carry a baby. So quit your bitching and appreciate the miracle growing inside you.

And another thing: I'd like to know why every stranger (and even some uninformed friends- who apparently don't read my blog) seem to think I'm ready to deliver any day now. My rude, annoying female neighbor (who will remain nameless) recently rode by me as I did my evening walk - she has her husband slow down, she points at me and makes this huge belly motion with her hands clasped together and rolls her arms from shoulder level down to her pelvis - as to say - you are huuuuuuge. bitch. Whether its the checkout girl at Walgreens or the random lady behind me at the post office - and most recently Missy Bismarck who all seem to be under the impression that I'm READY TO BLOOOOOOOOW. Like my hospital bag is in the trunk, I have the first 6 numbers of my OB's number dialed into my phone and two weeks worth of meals ready to go in the freezer. NO PEOPLE, I AM NOT DUE IN AUGUST OR TOMORROW OR IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS. I am due in late October. Why is it that even though I've only gained 6 pounds people seem to think I've reached capacity. I'm really quite offended by most of what I've heard from people lately, my very own mother included, who decided to tell me that I was really beginning to look pregnant instead of just big. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? My mom called me fat. I've worked my ass off these past few months skipping banana splits, cheeseburgers, super sizing, and 2nd dinners to avoid looking like a beached whale. And all I get is comments like, "any day now eh?" or "An August baby I presume?" No assholes. I've only gained 6 pounds, I've got 12 weeks to go and I never looked "big" or "fat" to begin with. And while I'm on the topic of my belly - would all of you people out there stop stroking my stomach like I belong is a freaking petting zoo? I am not a friendly goat, I am a hormonal pregnant woman. Stop touching me.